Through the Fire and Flames
by csilove01
Summary: When Catherine is subject to both past horrors and new ones, can Grissom forgive himself while helping her return to the woman she once was? Rated M for pretty much anything you can think of.


**A/N: I know I REALLY shouldn't be starting any new stories what the with million I already have going but this idea just wouldn't leave me alone and because the end of the semester is coming up very soon I'll be updating my other stories more so please hang with me. This story is a little something different than others I have done so I hope you enjoy it. I tried to get the medical aspect of the withdrawal and everything as close to right as possible so if you see some stuff that is wrong, I apologize in advance. Comments are greatly appreciated. Enjoy!**

Gil Grissom practically ran through the halls to the ER. Jim Brass had called him while he had been on the way to a crime scene. He had immediately called Warrick to cover it and had turned around to go to the hospital instead. Catherine Willows had been missing for nearly two week now. They had caught the man you had taken her. He had taken five other women who used to work with Catherine during her dancer days. They knew it was only a matter of time until his target turned out to be Catherine. Grissom had taken it upon himself to protect her. He wasn't about to let her become his next victim but somehow he had failed. That son of a bitch had gotten to her. He hadn't been there to save her. Grissom felt like all of this was his fault. He was relieved when they had found the suspect a week after Catherine had been missing. However, Grissom's heart sunk when he refused to give up Catherine's location or even reveal if she was still alive. Many had since given up hope. They had no clues leading them to where she was and if she had been able to leave wherever she was she would have found her way back by now. Grissom had given Brass little time to explain anything when he had called to inform him that they had found Catherine who had been rushed to the ER.

Grissom stopped at the nurses station and was about to ask where he could find her when Brass came running up to him.

"Grissom!" he yelled, still a little ways down the hall.

"Where is she?" Grissom asked walking the rest of the way toward him. He kept walking past Brass and Brass had to jog to catch up to him.

"Grissom, wait. You need to wait," he said, trying to get him to stop.

Grissom walked at full speed until he caught a glance at a familiar red-head lying on a stretcher, doctors standing over her.

"Catherine!" He yelled, running toward her. The doctors and Brass held him back as they rolled her quickly into the ER.

"What happened? Where are they taking her? Is she ok?" Grissom was frantic. He had thought that he would be able to see her.

Brass put a hand to his shoulder. "Come on, you might want to sit down." He led a stunned Grissom over to the waiting room and waited until he sat.

"Jim, what happened to her?" Grissom asked, his voice full of worry.

"Gil, listen," he paused. Brass's tone scared Grissom even more. "They found her outside of town in an abandoned House. Some teenagers were messing around out in the desert when they stumbled upon the house…Gil, she's not in good shape."

"Jim, just tell me."

"She was raped…repeatedly," Brass said slowly and Grissom suddenly felt like throwing up. He put his head in his hands and took a deep breath.

"Oh God…"

"Gil, that's not it."

Grissom looked up. What could possibly be worse? He thought, not knowing what else could have happened.

"That whole house was full of cocaine," Grissom's eyes widened. No…not again. "Catherine's system was full of it."

"Oh God…no. She can't…fuck!" Grissom stood up, raking his hands in his hair and walking back and forth. "Not again."

"Gil, she's in a drug induced coma right now. The doctors are fairly certain that she'll survive but they don't know how much she'll remember about the whole ordeal."

Grissom continued pacing, his face read, his eyes watering, threatening to let tears fall at any moment. He felt the anger building up inside of him as he stopped at the wall. "Fuck!" He punched the wall, splitting his hand open in the process.

Brass looked on at his friend. He had never seen Gil like this. He had been trained to handle situations with grief stricken loved ones of victims but he felt heavy, he couldn't bring himself to walk over and console his obviously hurting friend. This was not Gil, not at all.

"Gil," Brass finally got his legs to move and he placed a hand on Grissom's shoulder. "I know this is going to be Hell for her when she wakes up. You need to be strong. She's going to need you."

"She's already beat it once, she can't again…" Grissom said, his voice low and his head hanging down.

"Give her some credit Grissom," Brass said more sternly now. "Catherine is strong and you know it. It'll take time but she'll be ok."

Grissom got that look of fury in his eyes again and looked up. "She better be." He walked off down the hall toward the bathroom, holding his cut hand leaving Brass to watch him go.

****************************************

Grissom had just finished cleaning up his hand and was walking back toward the waiting area when he saw a doctor talking to Brass. Grissom jogged to make it to them before the doctor left.

"Is she awake? Is she ok? When can I see her?" Grissom began to get frantic again. The doctor touched his forearm in attempts to get him to settle down.

"Are you ?"

"Yes," Gil sighed, beginning to get agitated when the doctor would not cut to the chase.

"Catherine woke up. She's not doing well. Her time with her capture is gradually coming back to her and she is showing some mild withdrawal symptoms from the cocaine which may or may not get worse within the next few days. We can only hope for the latter. She won't talk to anyone about what she is remembering. She's scared which is normal," the doctor finished, removing his glasses and rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"Can I see her now?" Grissom asked again, this time more calmly.

"That might be a good idea. She said your name as she was waking up. Maybe you'll be able to get through to her. You can come with me," the doctor turned and began to lead Grissom down the hallway toward Catherine. Grissom felt like he was on autopilot. He couldn't feel his legs as he followed the doctor. He thought about Catherine saying his name when she awoke. Would she hate him? Hate him for leaving her alone, for allowing this to happen to her? He stopped in front of the room that the doctor pointed at and took in the sight of her. His heart broke and a knot formed in his throat. He had never seen her so vulnerable, so scared. Her eyes were wide and glazed, he body tense, battered and bruised. She lay there looking off into space. This wasn't the Catherine he knew. This wasn't his Catherine.

"Talk to her," the doctor said and Grissom turned to nod his head before walking slowly into the room. He kept his eyes on her as he made his way to the chair next to her bed. He lowered himself into it and continued to look at her, searching for some sort of reaction, even anger would suffice now. He just needed to see some emotion from her. Seeing her like this was scaring him. She stared off at the wall in front of her, showing no sign that she even realized he was there.

Grissom finally gathered enough strength to allow a soft whisper to escape his lips, "Catherine." When she didn't respond with so much as a blink of her eyes, he slowly moved his hand to graze hers. He immediately regretted it when her body tightened and flinched away from him, meeting his eyes for the first time. He'll never forget the fear there in her eyes as she looked at him, her body turned in a way so that he wouldn't touch her. It seemed like she didn't even know him. He wondered if she saw the man who did all of this to her when she looked at him. It broke his heart.

"Catherine…Catherine, it's me. It's Gil." She still didn't say a word but continued to stare into his eyes. She looked so lost like she wasn't even inhabiting her body. "You're ok now Catherine, you're safe." Her eyes left his again and she turned to her previous position, looking at the wall in front of her, oblivious to Grissom's presence next to her. He watched her hand begin to twitch slightly and knew it must be because of the withdrawal. He was pleasantly surprised at how little symptoms she was exhibiting but the doctor had said it might get worse. She was in shock now, he could see that. He felt a tear roll down his cheek and he looked at the ground. When he looked back up she was looking at him again. He watched her eyes glaze over and his heart broke all over again as he watched a single tear roll down her face.

"I'll take care of you Catherine." And this time he swore on his life that that's just what he'd do.


End file.
